Can’t Find Love? This Might Be Why.

Can’t Find Love? This Might Be Why.

Respect goes a long way in proving that you value and cherish your partner. Trust Someone once said that trust is earned, not given. This is indeed true when two unique individual come together to fairly share their lives. Trust is one of the cornerstones of a healthy relationship. Your partner will love you more when she can place her confidence and faith in you. She should know that you mean what you say and have faith in her capabilities. a trustworthy partner is also honest and upfront. Failure to keep little secrets and promises will make your significant other wary of entrusting her life, or a portion of it, to you. Reluctance to fairly share feelings, ideas, and aspirations often breeds uncertainty; which will in turn breed contempt. Spend time together and be open with each other to build trust.fling Selflessness Showing unselfish concern for each other’s welfare is key for a successful and long-lasting relationship. When your partner shows little concern for your needs, you are probably dating someone who does not value you and the relationship. Selflessness involves going out of your way to do things that show your partner that you love and cherish him. He should also be able to meet your needs, even if it means putting aside his desires. Reciprocation makes each partner feel equally loved and cherished.

Compromise Disagreements are part of relationships since the two of you are unique in various ways. Nonetheless, it does not mean that you have to clash on everything. In a successful relationship, partners compromise and walk through tough times together. Compromise is about putting aside personal interests for the good of the relationship. Learn that you do not have to be right always and let go of some personal preferences. When two people learn to handle conflicts harmoniously, they breed a healthy and lasting union. Other than interpersonal considerations, a healthy relationship is easier to maintain when both of you lead healthy lifestyles. You should not hesitate to seek professional medical attention on issues that may jeopardize your relationship.

Get an EHIC card and benefit from free or subsidized medical care across EEA countries. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook4Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Relationships Tagged in: Compromise, Healthy Dating, Healthy Lifestyle Refresh, rebrand, and re-date! Forget your Type and unbundle all the possibilities of dating outside of your usual. Here’s what happens when you do. Provides More Opportunities When you toss the list, your options quadruple. Once you’re open to more tastes, you will automatically be open to more experiences. Not only should you reevaluate what you’re expecting Before you even meet someone, but also During as well. People underestimate the power of summer flings or fiery trysts. Fight the temptation to “label.” Plenty of casual relationships snowball into something serious. It’s not about tossing standards. It’s about diversifying them.

Opens Your Eyes to Your Patterns AND Limits When you meet someone you’re not necessarily Comfortable with dating, there’s lot of room for growth. Is it their habits or lifestyle that’s so available to you? Is it their predictability? Their unpredictability? Let’s say for a period of time, you had a track history of dating those who had quite a few issues. What does that say about you?  See what happens when you date someone who’s in a calmer, more mature state of mind. It can be about personality as well. Dating a party-goer will un-hermit you eventually. Allows You to Grow Once you tunnel vision into dating certain types of people, you won’t stumble upon the cracks of dating in that path. Doing the opposite enables change. Your past mistakes will magnify, and you can act properly.https://topadultreview.com/ It’s Fun Do you know how fun it was to dumpster dive? So what if he was a freegan. So what if there was no way I’d change my lifestyle? At least I shared in it for a little window of time.

You get to learn about things as well! My home base is Nerdsville or Artstown. But, over the years, I’ve accumulated more knowledge on the hooligan landscape (like learning what Robo-tripping is) and the conspiracies of C-Span and bouldering techniques. All because I decided to deviate. It’s Liberating You’re not tied down by one group or one singular experience. The possibilities are boundless. You Stop Looking When you’re not consumed by the best relationship, the “Perfect Guy,” or simply, the outcome, you’ll be in the most abundant and open mindset for love to happen.

Size Queen: Am I Worthy of Love?

Without notice. Without expectation. When you’re your realest and most authentic self. Once you stop looking, you start seeing. And a view like that, can occasionally be…breathtaking 😉 Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook48Tweet0Pin3 Posted in: Online Dating Yep, I’m back to deliver another in my series of dickish behavior; another chapter in my journey of evolution from bottom feeding microbial scum sucker to the festering cold-hearted jerk that I am today… It seems like only yesterday when I was trying to juggle four women at once; dating was a chore and a spendy one at that. I needed to date less women… Yet that thought was flawed. Flawed because I knew none of these women were right for me.

I had slept with three of the four. So I wasn’t hurting in that respect. My female friends looked down upon me, banning me from bringing my “hoes” to social functions… My wallet was ready to put a full stop on my hyperactive dating ways as well… Something had to give. So, the Urban Dater, you will want to ditch these chicks anyway, you ask. Well, because I was a pussy, dear reader. Plain and simple. I was afraid to have that talk, so I continued en route to critical mass. Mercifully, one gal, Tina, broke things off with me, she found another fish. The others though were smitten with me, against all odd. They had to be dealt with.

Amber had no car, shared an apartment with a random street bum. Carla was recently removed from an eight year relationship with another woman and Nadia just lived too damn far away and hated my taste in music and made me feel like an asshole for sneering Ricky Martin. One night, I was sitting down watching the Devil Wears Prada on TV (don’t you judge me!) And I knew what I needed to do, break up with these women. I got my phone and began texting one of them to see if she was free to talk. Then my mind said, with a sudden ray of clarity, “well what’s wrong with sending a text to all of them?” The text message reads: “hey you, been thinking lot and I don’t think this is gonna work for me. Thanks for everything wishing u the best.” Two of the text replies were uniform run of the mill “Go f*ck yourself!” Or “I can’t believe I wasted my vag’ on YOU!!! FML!!”  The one I got from Carla was sweet, I think… “It was nice dating you, thanks for the text, switching back to women.”  Nice. Stay tuned for more tales from the asshole-a-verse. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook0Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships, Relationships Tagged in: jerk behavior, texting You spent the majority of your freshman year at college in bed, crying, and wondering how you ended up this way.

You used to be smart and funny. You used to have tons of friends and loved life. Now you just love him and somehow that seems like enough, even though you know it’s really nothing at all. Domestic violence is not a topic to take lightly. In the United States alone, 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men age 18 years and older have suffered physical violence at the hands of an intimate partner. In fact, close to half of all women and men nationwide have experienced emotional abuse or psychological aggression in a relationship. Abuse doesn’t discriminate, and its effects are long-lasting, debilitating and oftentimes deadly. A Tale as Old as Time Half of all men and women in a relationship have experienced emotional or physical abuse. Abusive relationships, though, are always wrong, varies from person to person, relationship to relationship. And while the signs are always similar, no two stories are alike. To an outsider the solution is in black and white: “Leave him,” your entire support system demands, not understanding the fact that you can’t. Mentally, physically and emotionally you are tied to this person; so completely bound that you just know that you would lose yourself without him. Like a cloud burned up by the sun, you would evaporate into thin air without his constant hounding presence. What our friends and family don’t understand, what any person that hasn’t experienced abuse in their relationship doesn’t understand is that it’s so much easier to stay.

Why It’s So Hard to Leave Your Abusive Relationship It typically takes a woman 7 separate attempts to leave an abusive relationship once and for all, and that’s no surprise to advocates and experts in the field. Domestic violence is predicated on power and control, and abusers are highly manipulative toward their victims. Threats, fear, children, finances, low self-esteem and love can all be factors in a victim staying with an abuser, and all too often, the victim’s self-worth is so rattled that he or she no further has the confidence in order to make such a difficult decision alone. The shame that people feel about their relationships often serves as a barrier to seeking help, that will be an unfortunate complication of a society that largely blames victims in the place of abusers.

Did I Waste My Time?

Some people who were raised within abusive households may misinterpret abuse and violence as a normal dynamic within a relationship. Unfortunately, children exposed to domestic violence endure a wide range of behavioral, emotional and social issues, and male children are more likely to become abusers themselves. Many times, addiction issues make battering worse and disable a victim’s attempts at leaving. Statistics show 90% of rape and sexual assault cases involve alcohol, and its prevalence in abusive situations is alarmingly high. If a victim is addicted to drugs or alcohol, seeking treatment and rehabilitation assistance is a vital step in ending the cycle of abuse. Tips for Leaving Ending a violent relationship is no easy task, and certain tips are advised to help make the process as safe and effective as possible. • Develop a safety plan: Leaving is the most dangerous time in an abusive relationship, and while many people may assume that it’s “easy” to do so, it’s vital you take precautions in order to make this move as safe as possible for your unique situation. Pretend to take a donation basket of clothes and toiletries to Goodwill in order to store those needed belongings with friends or family prior to leaving. • Tell someone: Tell a trusted coworker when you’ll be making the attempt and have that person check in with you, or make sure local law enforcement is aware so they can monitor your neighborhood at that time. Create a code word to use with loved ones to signal you’re in danger. Plan ahead for every scenario, and always keep safety at the forefront. • Build a support network: Not having support is a surefire way to end up back with your abuser.

Seek support and encouragement from friends, family, coworkers, support groups or a counselor. The more help you have, the better your outcome will likely prove. • Completely terminate all contact with your abusive partner: Ending a relationship is usually very emotional, and abusers know how to manipulate partners with words of love in the honeymoon phase. Ignore any attempts at contact, and don’t initiate conversations or leave the door open for communication to continue. Change your phone number, seek a protective order, switch jobs or relocate — whatever you need to do. • Understand you can’t fix someone else; you can only modify your own behavior: Many times, the abused partner feels that he or she can change that person’s behavior if only they were smarter, more attractive, more patient, more wealthy, etc. Because abused individuals likely have damaged self-esteem, they often blame themselves for the problems in the relationship. To make matters worse, society often reiterates this misconception by asking the abused why they didn’t leave. Focus on practicing self-care. The only person to blame is the person who abused you, and beating yourself up is only giving that person more power. • Access community resources: If leaving the relationship means you’re without shelter or unable to manage financially, seek help from a domestic violence shelter. Trained counselors and advocates can assist you while you obtain back on your feet, and their support is monumental during this transition. To find a shelter in your area, contact The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY). • File necessary court paperwork: Obtaining an emergency protective order is oftentimes advised for women who fear retaliation from an abusive partner for leaving. Counselors at domestic violence shelters can assist you in filing an order, and they will also be present with you in court for moral support and advocacy. Leaving is a major step for any abused partner to take – and it’s a crucial component of finding the happiness and peace of mind you truly deserve. With proper support, safety planning and resources, you can make that critical leap toward a better life. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox!

Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook0Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Relationships Tagged in: Abusive Relationships, Emotional abuse, Physical abuse, relationship advice, Relationships If you’re reading this, chances are you’re aware of just how much dating advice is out there. Books, magazines, websites, friends and family – it can seem endless, because it is. And I’ve read a lot of it while trying to improve my own love life. A few books in, however, I started feeling overwhelmed by the sheer volume of advice, rules, do’s and don’ts. More than that, I was struck by how some advice was similar to, or just flat out opposite of, what I’d just read in the book before. Where I’d hoped to kick my romantic adventures into high gear, I was stalled – literally paralyzed by how to implement the guidance I’d just been given. Was I going to make it worse? Make it better?

Did it apply to this particular guy? Did it even apply to me? It was that last question that really stuck with me – the in-patient with a unique story, with unique experiences in all areas of my life, including romance – ups, downs, push and pull, broken-hearted or breaking a heart. What did all of those relationships have in common? Me. All of the decisions I’d ever made – how to act or react to a situation or a particular predicament – were predicated on my past experiences ( with a splash or 10 of advice from others). I’d made some mistakes and been on the receiving end of them. That’s why we move to experts and friends in the first place, right? To learn what we did wrong and do better the next time? To understand what just happened after the whiplash of a break up we didn’t see coming? To salvage the relationship we’re in?

It seems relatively simple at first: type your problem into a search field, click a few buttons, and all your problems will be solved. But it’s a rabbit hole. The deeper you go, the more complicated things can sometimes become. And what happens to the fun? That’s what dating is supposed to be, right? It was while contemplating this that I was struck with the notion that no matter how much or how little advice I read, what really mattered was that I kept one super-important thing in mind. Me! Who I am, what I want, what I believe, and to make decisions properly. It wasn’t always going to be fun, or pretty, but it was going to be me. And that was the beginning of my interactive romantic comedy novel, Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda: A Novel Approach to Dating. I took all the dating and relationship advice resources I could get my hands on, mined them for common and contradictory advice, the most common, fun and angsty predicaments and dilemmas, and arranged them into one giant work of fiction – a book where you call the shots (and live or die by the outcome). How you want to handle the beginning of a relationship; how quickly or slowly you want to take things; how you handle fights; face rejection or how you reject; when to say I adore you, or how to deal when you’re faced with an ‘I love you” you can’t return; whether or you want to stay in a relationship or run for the hills; wait for a proposal or make one; live solo or “in sin;” have kids or not; deal with a pregnancy scare (or fake a pregnancy)…you get the picture. Like everything in life, no matter how much advice we’re given, no matter how many books we read, or tales of life experience we hear, how we handle our romantic relationships is up to us.

We have choice. Even when we don’t have a choice in the outcome, we have a choice in how we react to it. And when it stops, we get back up and do it again. While Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda: A Novel Approach to Dating will take you through all the ups and downs, all the stages and anxieties that come with falling in love, it also has the most important part – the fun, the shenanigans and, most importantly, the hijinks. Like boiling down a decade of relationships into 400 pages, it has hundreds of choices, upwards of 60 endings, and endless opportunities to start over when things end. All without getting out of your jammies. If only real life were like that, eh? I could use your help in getting Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda off the ground. I’m raising funds for professional editing, formatting and design.

In exchange for contributions, you can get an advance copy of the book, win prizes, and sometimes even have a character named after you. It’s an one-of-a-kind book for a one-of-a-kind you. You can find my crowdfunding campaign here, read an excerpt of the book here, and get to know the story’s characters on their Pinterest boards. Have a gander and decide if you’d like to be a part of something special (and you know, avoid any Coulda, Woulda, Shouldas down the road). For now, Tara Reed Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook0Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships Tagged in: advice, chicklit, choose your personal adventure, Dating, dating advice, Relationships, tara reed Well, we’ve had to do it a couple times… No, NOT THAT!  Nope! We’ve moved our site before from Dreamhost and later to Hostgator. Both were fine choices, but ultimately shared hosting is something that we just can’t use for the Urban Dater anymore. In other words, we’re on the move once again. I think most of you guys probably won’t care all that much that we’ve ‘moved’ again.

But I also know that a good number of our readers are bloggers, too, of varying levels of interest. Some of bloggers blog as a hobby, some do it more frequently and others are looking in order to make some bucks at it while working at something we love (Taylor and I fall into this group). Therefore, I think it is vital to share these details with our readers. And, if you think it would be worthwhile, I could always do a post on the topic of thing we use around here. Just let me know. And so… Recently we received a letter from our hosting provider stating: Your website is using a considerable amount of resources and bandwidth. While your plan provides unlimited bandwidth and storage, it does not provide unlimited processing power.